Art jokes
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
You look easy to draw.
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.