Art jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
Why does Beethoven's music sound like hell sometimes?
Because he doesn't listen to it!
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?