Ares jokes
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Memes
Name a nut. You because are nuts.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Balls are balls, aka dicks.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
Q: Why are Americans bad at Clash Of Clans?
A: They already lost two towers.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"