Ares jokes
Why are women like parking spots?
Because all of the good ones are always taken first, and you gotta wait until they're available again.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
“Wills”
Are they a dead giveaway!
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
You are so cat.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."