Ares jokes
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
Australia needs YOUR help!
ISIS brides are coming to Australia! They need to go back to where they came from. Help us before they blow us up like the terrorists they are!
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
How many Joe Biden jokes are there?
None, because they're all true.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
Why are transgender people like confused kids?
Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
What do Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Ayanna Pressley, and Rashida Tlaib all have in common?
All four of them are garbage.
Why are a majority of rape allegations false?
Because whores like to cry wolf.
Autistic spesh people are drongos.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis because people say 67?"
Why are the Twin Towers afraid of hot tubs?
Because of the jets.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
Why are Black people afraid of ghosts?
Because ghosts remind them of the KKK.