Ares jokes
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
You are the joke.
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.