Ares jokes
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
"White beta males and fake alpha males are a joke that goes for POC men too."
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Yo mama's cheeks are red, I don't know why.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!