Ares jokes
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"