Ares jokes
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”