Ares jokes
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, they’ll kill your dog.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.