Ares jokes

What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

Roses are red, fishers are fishing,

I really hope you’ll be reported missing.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

What are fish not allowed to have?

Seaweed.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.

The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.

What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

Someone: Ugly?

Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.