Ares jokes

Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.

The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!

A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

"Baking a cake."

The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

Hippity hoppity, women are property!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?

The driving instructor.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?

I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.

Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Animals are just... so hot!

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the rink manager!”

Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"

The girl says, "Just like your face."

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."