Ares jokes

"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.

What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory!

Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

"The canons be ready, Captain!"

"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!

What flowers are on your face?

Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?

Call their parents.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?

A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

Who are the fastest readers?

The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.

Why are orphans good at being a criminal?

Because they're not wanted.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.