Ares jokes
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.