Absent dad jokes
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
My dad just comes and goes.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
My dad left me, lol.
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
My dad left me.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.