Apple jokes
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.