In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Apple Jokes
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
What's a rapper's favorite type of FRUIT?
Rhyme-Apple.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
