Apple jokes

A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.

What type of apple grows on a tree?

All of them.

What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.

What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.

An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.

What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.

One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

What kinds of apples grow on trees?

All of them.

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?

The apple was already bitten.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Question: What do you call 8 apples?

Answer: The iPhone 8.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.