ANS jokes
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
neeeow
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
Stressed Out - By - Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions - I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard. I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words. I wish I found some chords In an order that is new. I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang.
I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink. But now I'm insecure And I care what people think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think. My name's Blurryface and I care what you think.
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out
Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one. It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out
We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Broccoli is like anal sex. If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.