ANS jokes

I got my math test back today. I am Asian and raised in an Asian household, so I was worried about what I was going to get.

I got a 95%.

I'm having warm dinner tonight!

P.S. True story, lol.

The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.

The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."

One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.

Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."

"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."

Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."

If I get an atom, I would split it with you.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?

Surrounded by loved ones.

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.

I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.

Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...

Q. Why did the emo not like his AirBnB?

A. There wasn't enough carbon monoxide in the suite.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple actually gets picked.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

You're an orphan.

What is an orphan and an apple?

They get picked.

Your forehead is so big, you got an eight-head.

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.

Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .