ANS jokes
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
What do you call an Indian? Indiana Jones.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.