Anime

Anime jokes

Octopus

A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"

Memes

Sex

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Skyscraper

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

Kid

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Movie

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.

T pose

Why do animators like Christianity?

Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.

World

You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.

Friend

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.