Animal jokes
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Memes
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.