Animal jokes
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!