Animal jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Memes
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did the gorilla leave the mafia headquarters for good?
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.