Animal jokes
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Memes
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldnāt hang in there.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
A seal walks into a club.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Whatās the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
Whatās the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!