Animal jokes
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.