Animal jokes
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
Memes
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!