Animal jokes
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
My dog died. I'm so sad.
What did the cow 🐄 watch? moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies 😂🐄🖥
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.