Animal jokes
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog? It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
sorry my name is like this but its true
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Hi, my name is Moo, what is your name? Moo.
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
What has four legs and one arm? A rottweiler at a park.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.