Animal jokes
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
A no flyer.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.