Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Animal Jokes
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
