Animal jokes
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Memes
looking funny or funny looking
I like penguins.
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!