Animal jokes
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!