Animal jokes

what do you call a cow that fell?

Ground beef.

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It's pasture your bedtime.

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

What did the butcher say to the pig?

Nice to meat you.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A Labracadabrador.

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

I like penguins.

Things we all do:

Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

I do this too often!

What do cats eat for breakfast?

"Mice Krispies!"

Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

It couldn’t hang in there.

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?

I like alottopuss.

The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Why did the cow go to outer space?

To see the moooon!

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.