Animal jokes

what do you call a cow that fell?

Ground beef.

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It's pasture your bedtime.

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A Labracadabrador.

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

I like penguins.

Things we all do:

Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

I do this too often!

What do cats eat for breakfast?

"Mice Krispies!"

Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?

A. Bisexual.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

What meds do snakes with ADHD take?

Adder-all.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

It couldn’t hang in there.

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?

I like alottopuss.

The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!