Animal jokes

What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It's pasture your bedtime.

what do you call a cow that fell?

Ground beef.

I was walking in the forest with my gf.

I had a Desert Eagle for protection.

A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

What do you call a dog that can do magic?

A Labracadabrador.

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

I like penguins.

Things we all do:

Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

I do this too often!

What do cats eat for breakfast?

"Mice Krispies!"

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

I have no eye deer!

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

Why do animators like Christianity?

Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.

You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?

I like alottopuss.

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.