Animal jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Memes
i cough this morning
What's the difference between orphans and dogs?
Dogs get adopted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.