Animal jokes
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
Why are eagles 🦅 bald? Because they don’t wear wigs.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?