Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
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Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!