Animal jokes

Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

What did the swearing hen say?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

What did the cussing rooster say?

"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

Cow jokes are udder-culous (ridiculous)!

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.

Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.

Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?

Because it was Halloween!

rat gaagah?

When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.

Aren't I beary good?

Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?

Because they can’t catch it!

Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.

Why do ponies hate Silento?

Because they neigh neigh too much!

Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?

What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?

This is a pig problem!

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.