Animal jokes
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
Octopussy.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
My dog died.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
Why do ponies hate Silento?
Because they neigh neigh too much!