Animal jokes

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?

What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.

Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?

To get its wheelchair!

Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?

What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?

This is a pig problem!

Why do ponies hate Silento?

Because they neigh neigh too much!

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?

I am a sheep.

What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.

What's a cow's favorite war?

World War Moo.

Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

Cow jokes are udder-culous (ridiculous)!

Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.