Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Memes
Why do ponies hate Silento?
Because they neigh neigh too much!
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?
Comment down below!
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
Cow jokes are udder-culous (ridiculous)!
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.