Animal jokes
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
Memes
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
Like if you blow male cows?
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
Hi! I love my dog.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!