Animal jokes
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
Like if you blow male cows?
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Hi! I love my dog.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.