Animal jokes
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
Why do four polish heteroflexable men like to suck on four of the cow's udders? Because a bull has only one.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
hahahahahahahahahahahahaahaa
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.