Animal jokes
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What do you call a priest that is a furry?
A Catholic.
Memes
Shorse
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
Why did the robot cross the road?
Because he was programmed by the chicken!
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
I am mis-steak.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
What do cheetahs say?
"Cheese-ah!"