Animal jokes
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.