Animal jokes
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Hi! I love my dog.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock. Who's there?
The chicken...
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.