Animal jokes
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
Hi! I love my dog.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock. Who's there?
The chicken...
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.