Animal jokes
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
I kicked a goose, and I liked it!
Like if you blow male cows?
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock. Who's there?
The chicken...
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.