Animal jokes
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!