Animal jokes
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
About a dog.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.