Animal jokes
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
What animal lies? A lion.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.