Animal jokes
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Hor- wait what the hell is that
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh