Animal jokes
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
Memes
why the fuck is steam there ????
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!