Animal jokes
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Memes
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?