Animal jokes
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
What do you call a wingless fly?
A walk!
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
A man walked into a bar. No wait, a horse,
A man walked into a horse.