Animal jokes
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
Day 18
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.