Animal jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
What do you call a fish and a guitar?
Tunafish.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side.
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?