Animal jokes
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
Memes
Shorse
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!