Animal jokes
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?