Animal jokes
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Memes
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
A chicken is delicious.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
Why are fish smart?
They live i a school.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.