Animal jokes
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Rat
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?