Animal jokes
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Memes
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?