Animal jokes

What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?

Koalas are awesome!

What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle.

Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.

Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."

Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

What are Africans' favorite game to play? Hungry hippos.

Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

What do you call an imposter octopus?

Octosus.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

What would you name your pet rabbit?

Harry.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.

Why did the zebra cross the road?

Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.