Animal jokes
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?
Cheetah outta here!
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Memes
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.