Animal jokes

Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling good.

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.

What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle.

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

What do you call an imposter octopus?

Octosus.

What would you name your pet rabbit?

Harry.

My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the worst dam program I've ever seen.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

What do you call a scared octopus?

An octopussy.

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!