Animal jokes
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A “Lickalottapuss”.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
Holy cow!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Koalas are awesome!
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.