Animal jokes
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
Memes
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.