Animal jokes
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
The fucking cat!
I made this dumb meme to show u
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What fish sings?
A tuna.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.