Animal jokes
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Memes
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!