Animal jokes
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.