Animal jokes
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
Memes
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!