Animal jokes
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.