Animal jokes
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
Memes
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)