Animal jokes
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
Indian porn
Ooooh oooh oooh
Baaaaaa
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Memes
Like if you can relate
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.