Animal jokes
What animal lies? A lion.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.