Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
Animal Jokes
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
