Animal

Animal jokes

Cut

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Loyalty

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Whale

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Memes

Dog

If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?

Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. πŸ˜€

Similarity

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

Cow

Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?

Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!

Terrorist

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

Farmer

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

Worm

What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tailβ€”it'll be delighted!

Dog

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

Dog

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

Nun

What’s black and white and red all over?

A crushed nun!

What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?

Slow natives.

Guy

What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?

Answer: a Carnivwhore.