Animal jokes
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
I love my dog and all dogs.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
How many children does Explain Bear have?
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.