Animal jokes
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
The chicken is so fat.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.