Animal jokes
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
Duck!!
Where??
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"