Animal jokes
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
Memes
Hor- wait what the hell is that
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
What animal lies? A lion.
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.