Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.
Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
Jacob has a small penis.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
