Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

1

See

Anonymous

Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.

Bar

Anonymous

the bear walked into the bar and said can i have a cola and a…wisky the bar tender says whats with the big paws

Daughter

MuaHaHajgditsostsotz

A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

0

Madness

Anonymous

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy he said “ get ur paws of my toy.

Madness

Ali

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy do you know what he said… get your paws off 💩💩💩

Wife

smartass

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams . “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”

2

Bartender

Muggs

Dog walks into a bar… & Sez to bartender . I’m looking for the man who shot my paw…

Bar

Muggs0714

Dog walks into a bar & say’s I’m lookn for the man who shot my paw.

Difference

Izzy

Hey I have a joke!! What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!! 🤣

Difference

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

What’s the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Puns

Cat punz

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him. I asks him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised, he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game