Aed jokes
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”
The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Bill was on a hill. What a hillbilly!
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."