Aed jokes
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
Me listening to some random lgbtq protester say Its racist to ask somebody if they want free fried chicken
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.