Aed jokes

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Two Asian people have a black baby.

Something wrong.

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?

Gay.

Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

I have a girlfriend.

If aliens were real,

then orphans would finally have a home.

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

Mother got shot, damn.

Father got shot, damn.

Sister got shot, damn.

Brother got shot, damn.

Auntie running away with a shotgun!

What do you call a dino stripper?

A dinohore.

An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

What is a cannibal's favorite drink?

Coffee.

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."