Aed jokes

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

Justin: Hey.

Josh: Hey man.

Justin: Why only "man"?

Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

Justin: I don't mind.

Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Broccoli.

Broccoli who?

Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.

So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed." The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong." The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?

It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!