Aed jokes

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?

Kentucky Fried Children!

What's it called when you eat those same babies?

Finger Lickin' Good!

What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?

A clout chaser.

Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.

Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?

They both can throw a hook.

Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?

Bored games.

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

"I think I feel a connection!"

How does an artist fill in a CV?

He draws on experience.

A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!