Aed jokes
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!
Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.
I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.
I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...