Aed jokes
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.
Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."