Aed jokes
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
Sad but true
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.