Aed jokes
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
What do you call a Black-Asian dictator?
Kim Kong Coon.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
What's something that 9/10 people enjoy? A gangbang.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”