Aed jokes
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
A B C D E F GUN.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)