Aed jokes
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
I bought a belt made of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.