Aed jokes

What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.

What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.

I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.

I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

What do you call two natives in a ditch?

A sleepover.

Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.

What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

What does every pirate hate?

A small chest with no booty.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.

Why can't you kill a hooker?

Because they're dead inside anyway.

What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?

A: A tater tot.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One to trust and the other to thrust.